Another suddenly has come.

At any given moment in time a suddenly event can change a life. Winning the lottery, losing a life, or living with difficulties each alter how we carry on. Character is tested during the challenges and character is what needs to be witnessed.......

For some, a suddenly is a rare occurrence, if you're able to keep life under control. From the disarray around the world and the distrust in our own country, I would say we are living in a new reality much like my own; one you're never ready for but must adapt too. 
Perhaps we need to get with the times and realize the seasons............

If I believe in my dreams, then loss should not be allowed to take them from me. The suddenly that sent me into a state of grief cannot keep me in a place of death. I want to allow my dreams to grow bigger.... and better than they were before. How to get to the goals is where character and challenges collide.

Some might say if I never went to SoCal, then I would not have quite this quest to reset and readjust in life. It was a cultural experience we were called too, and God only knows the greater reasons as to why. I know you will be hearing some of those reasons in the coming days.........

When the kids and I returned to LA after the holidays at home, it was as if something shifted. After landing on 12/28, Logan and I absolutely knew it was our time to exit two days later. Another suddenly had come upon us...
It was that fast.

Without time for any goodbyes for myself, we boarded a plane and were back in Philly a day and a half later. The season in life had shifted so quickly and I have learned to follow the flow, if at all possible. Most people are not able to do that, nor would they want to,.but I want to be blessed.....

The suddenlies have come for my 3 California kids and Jordan has also announced he will be leaving San Francisco in the coming weeks. Another 2 year period passed. His coming and going is blessed and we look forward to the beginnings of more great things as he follows his adventure forward.......

Sometimes we are too cautious and concerned about making moves that need to happen, or taking chances for fear something will happen. 
Truth is, we only live once on the earth so we might as well make the most of it..... in a meaningful way.

Nite.

Hang onto Hope.

Beliefs take a hit when your world is rocked and something so out of the ordinary is thrown your way. Belief in ourselves, in humanity, and in a "Higher Power" are shaken down to the very core of one's existence....... perhaps that is why some say they have none.....

With no hope, there is nothing invested. Nothing is lost. In my opinion, that is not a life lived.

The kids and I came to this land of idolized images and perceptions perpetrated, with great expectations and good intentions. Had our belief system hinged on man's ways and what money secures, we would be sunk, let down left and right......... however,

"Hope is the anchor for our souls which is firm and secure....."

As a woman and mom, I have always tried to offer the best of my beliefs to my kids, not cramming in through control, but modeling by my lifestyle. Here, the climate is not conducive even to the basics; there then, is no foundation to build from. Nothing is firm. Nothing is sound. The ground shifts. There is no progression.

When loss hits, there's a chance to rebuild......... your beliefs, the basics.

There have been tough lessons for my 20 year old to learn lately......... issues of incompetency in every arena; hoping for help but finding there is no one to care in this SoCal climate. Self preservation prevails......... it is The Beautiful Letdown.

My belief remains that each lesson learned and opportunity taken is meant to add to the quality of my life, in one way or another. Hope is a hot commodity; easily taken or traded away; hope needs to be protected. For some, it is all that is left to build upon........

Hope is a belief in the better.

Living in limbo is no fun.

Until a decision is made to move on in life, no matter if you're single, separated, an empty nester or widower, life is in limbo. I am between the two and can become indifferent, with apathy settling in before I can see it. It's as if I'm between "two opinions" and being asked to make a choice.

I have learned that the God I believe in does not change in nature or character; however, his plans can be altered. Paths and courses in life can be determined by my decisions. Until I make one, I am in limbo. I do not like that feeling because I need to put action behind my faith, because that is when I feel alive...........

Austin has begun searching for another job as we've determined he will not be going back to Elco next semester. At times, I know he feels a bit aimless, like many his age and we're trying to weigh out all his options. It can be challenging for me, who wants to see the best possible scenario for him. We are learning how to communicate better which requires a bit more patience on my part. I just have to trust a little bit more.........

It seems Chynna is the one who's been meeting those of "celebrity status" since coming here 15 months ago. The beach coach she's working with also trained Indoor Female VB Olympic player Logan Tom and the US Team as I understand it. She's rubbed elbows yet remains unfazed:)

Redondo Union, as well as other local high schools, have been receiving threats that seem credible this week:/ A police presence has been felt on campus but so far no shutdowns. I do appreciate how proactive the school staff has been, not disregarding any info. So tired of the threats we are facing in our own country..........

Upon moving here, there were concerns that we would get lost here, never to return. It is always with great anticipation that Logan and I plan to return to our home town for the holiday next week, and we're both making as many plans as possible:) I expect an energizing that comes from the East Coast.... which gives life to the rest of the nation.

Yesterday I made a decision which I will share in the coming months and one I've wrestled with for months. This will impact many; however, it will move me, us, from limbo into liberty................

Love and peace.

The bitter to sweet.

A sore throat is going around a bit here and my daughter is being blamed for it, lol. She and Logan did, kinda sorta, share the same space:/ At the worst point, she was not able to eat anything nor digest it. The pain was not worth a tasty reward she determined.........

Many years ago, a certain man was told to go to a land where the population was rebellious, restrictive, and constrictive. Upon partaking of this place by divine order, he was carefully warned not to becomecareless or infected by a callus culture where he easily could have compromised............

I have learned a lot as it relates to what IS really important to me in life. It's been a lengthy process, having come out of 25 years of living in a life that at times, I didn't have much control over. After almost 18 months of having my life in SoCal feel much like that past, I believe I am finally ready to turn the page........

I continue to try to help guide my kids the best I can, as they process the ills of adulthood or adolescent lifestyles without a husband here. I was in tears last night over it but, I am however, blessed to have a new "partner" in John, to bounce ideas off of and gain wisdom from...... and talk football with 

During this experience, this certain man was asked to chew on and then digest words that would cause him sadness and lament. As he did so, the taste in his mouth would turn from bitter to sweet....... He had a lot to process and I'm sure he wondered if his whole experience even had a point, but the bitterness that could have broken his heart served to make his will as firm as flint........ and he was stronger for it.

Knowing what you want in life or need out of life is a very personal matter and one I've wrestled with. After chewing on the bitter for a bit, I think I continue to digest the harsh taste its left in my mouth, in a land of careless thought and ill intent. 
I am now craving the sweets........

A gift to humanity.

Who I am at my core can most often be reflected in the waves of life that toss me to and fro, creating a climate in which I will strive or thrive. Either I find a flow or am taken out with the tide..... Nothing has ever pulled me in so deep quite like SoCal........ can I come up for air now?

As I walk the strand at the beach or local streets, there are few who say "hello" or flash a friendly smile. It is so unlike the warm sunshine felt on the skin and the person I have wanted to be....... myself. After 15 months, this "cool climate" on a 90 degree November day, has gotten very stale.

For now, I see seasons in terms of school sessions, college years, and graduations and somehow I fit my own future in there:) Making college connections for Logan can be a part time job, and choosing options for Austin's future is time consuming.

To help bring the "Spirit" to SoCal, Logan's begun listening to Christmas music and tuning into holiday related shows:) He was always the one who made the seasons more festive, fun and celebratory back home and has tried here too.

I continue wrapping up rental business this week, that's weighed on me for a while. Ironically things seem to run more smoothly for me there. My budget is shot to hell but trusting for a turn around and to no longer be overwhelmed by it:)

Within this community, there has been an honesty that has risen from a tragedy. It is a gift to humanity and one that keeps on giving................ Love and Life.

The countdown to "Christmas" is on.