Rise up.

November 11 brings about two very special days to reflect and remember the heart of sacrifice.......... Doug's birthday has always coincided with Veteran's Day and this year would be his 56th, which for me, seems hard to imagine.......

Today the boys and I spent time together since both had off from school. We saw the epic movie "Interstellar," and I was moved beyond words. From the time span of over 3 years, I have seen so many dots connecting in life, gradually revealing this most amazing plan....... and purpose.

In day to day life however, it can be a struggle to keep that plan in front of me and my kids. Just a few nights ago one of my kids said to me that he/she feels "lost"........... Longing for the way things once were, even if imperfect. Yet we know we can never go back to the same place in time and space.

We can tell ourselves something is enough, even when there is no life left. The hope is for a "Lazarus" kind of moment..........

It seems Logan continues to heal after having his first night of VB practice with Surf since the stitches. I'm also hoping Chynna is now on the mend and fever free:) Perhaps my type of remedy has helped........

I have found when death hits a household, blame can soon follow after. This is almost as bad, if not worse, than the trauma of the tragedy itself.....

"The greater the destiny, the greater the determination has to be." (me)

A gift to humanity.

Who I am at my core can most often be reflected in the waves of life that toss me to and fro, creating a climate in which I will strive or thrive. Either I find a flow or am taken out with the tide..... Nothing has ever pulled me in so deep quite like SoCal........ can I come up for air now?

As I walk the strand at the beach or local streets, there are few who say "hello" or flash a friendly smile. It is so unlike the warm sunshine felt on the skin and the person I have wanted to be....... myself. After 15 months, this "cool climate" on a 90 degree November day, has gotten very stale.

For now, I see seasons in terms of school sessions, college years, and graduations and somehow I fit my own future in there:) Making college connections for Logan can be a part time job, and choosing options for Austin's future is time consuming.

To help bring the "Spirit" to SoCal, Logan's begun listening to Christmas music and tuning into holiday related shows:) He was always the one who made the seasons more festive, fun and celebratory back home and has tried here too.

I continue wrapping up rental business this week, that's weighed on me for a while. Ironically things seem to run more smoothly for me there. My budget is shot to hell but trusting for a turn around and to no longer be overwhelmed by it:)

Within this community, there has been an honesty that has risen from a tragedy. It is a gift to humanity and one that keeps on giving................ Love and Life.

The countdown to "Christmas" is on.