Even though I was out running around in a coating of snow, sleet, and slush back east, I didn't complain. I was cold but I felt… content. I imagine the Apostle Paul was familiar with all facets of life and perhaps why he spoke with authority on the subject.
Read moreDouble or nothing.
So of course after writing what I did last night, I found myself today texting the very same question to my closest ally… "Why is all of this happening to me." This was particularly in reference to rental issues and financial strains. He however, reminded me, that we are in this together…
Read moreLife flashes.
There are feelings that I have that can be tough for me to put into words. As I flew out of L.A. airspace and across the country, it was as if the heavens opened up.......... and life returned. I could breathe again....... feeling unstifled and unconstricted.
My life parallels the journey I took this past Thursday into the weekend back home and a wedding I attended with John Hayes. I am betwixt two places, suspended in time and space, yet knowing where I need to be for now....
It was not until I sat in a traditional church, and listened to a Bride and her Groom make their declarations of love, that I felt some emotions I want to avoid. Suddenly, my life flashed before my eyes and I was seeing my own wedding day and then fast forward .........
I find myself to be way more cautious now, with the root of it feeling concerned with losing another one I invest my love in. I tend to put off dealing with emotions and questions that lead to more questions, or potential conflicts with the ones I love the most.
My last few visits to a church have also been the result of a death...... and that reality hit me hard; tears fell. I may not ever really go "back," but please don't lecture me on needing to go to "church", because that is not my intent in sharing this with you, but the reality many face and feel.......
It is very easily underestimated during divorces, deaths, or divisions. Either way there is a loss and the location at times is linked. It can end up being a place you never want to go back too.........These are my raw and unfiltered emotions of Fall 2014.....
Thankfully Jordan came for the weekend to attend a work event, as well as hang out in the household. I missed him until last night; however, his sense of humor helped us tremendously. His presence allowed me to leave a bit easier for a few days.
After breakfast together, clothes shopping, and a power business meeting, he returned to San Fran tonight. He has become even more competent and intelligent, strong and courageous. He really did have to "find himself" in the big city....... and I had to bless him to do it.
New plans for the blog, posts, pics, and overall layout ofwww.houseofsecretsblog.com are underway, and breathed new life into me again. Wonder how those "oxygen bars" really work;)
This week my new schedule starts........... as I prepare to "Come Home" by One Republic.
Goodnight and God bless.
Laughter.
Since coming to L.A., we've had the pleasure of welcoming 3 friends from back home here to visit; Jordan's greeted a few in San Fran as well. Honestly, it's always such a pleasure to have anyone from back home stop by, much more special than we could imagine. This week brings us Janelle Turner!
Chynna met her at the airport, and we all met for lunch at Joe's, using Austin's 50% off employee discount yet again:) From there, Hermosa Beach for the afternoon and catching up on life back home and here.
Our PA home always was a welcoming one and we miss hosting friends and family:/ Tonight, Janelle shared in our very humble means here, gathering around our cardboard box, coffee table for dinner. A very special treat for us:)
At my age, most people want to enjoy what they've worked for; I haven't had that luxury yet, and it's easy to complain about........ particularly when most everything I held dear, I left behind.... except for one another. It sounds very altruistic but is just the choice I've made for now.
Our time with Jordan is always fun, and they're all getting to know John a lot better. Dating anyone other than their dad was a tough transition, for some of the kids more than others. I will discuss this more in the days ahead.......
It's been good to hear laughter in the apartment, when East Coast roots meet the West Coast lifestyle. In between those times, it's nose to the grindstone, feed to the fire....... and full steam ahead.
Sincere love to all