I have learned there is "no rest for the weary", after making a somewhat harrowing drive home from Penn State last evening, following our long weekend of volleyball. Opportunity never lets up, if I have the proper perspective… Traveling on Route 322 out of town, the path was tough to see. There was no line in the center of the lane, as it was covered in snow. I took my best guess as to where I needed to be. Very few cars were on the road and at one point, it seemed to be just me…
Read moreLife flashes.
There are feelings that I have that can be tough for me to put into words. As I flew out of L.A. airspace and across the country, it was as if the heavens opened up.......... and life returned. I could breathe again....... feeling unstifled and unconstricted.
My life parallels the journey I took this past Thursday into the weekend back home and a wedding I attended with John Hayes. I am betwixt two places, suspended in time and space, yet knowing where I need to be for now....
It was not until I sat in a traditional church, and listened to a Bride and her Groom make their declarations of love, that I felt some emotions I want to avoid. Suddenly, my life flashed before my eyes and I was seeing my own wedding day and then fast forward .........
I find myself to be way more cautious now, with the root of it feeling concerned with losing another one I invest my love in. I tend to put off dealing with emotions and questions that lead to more questions, or potential conflicts with the ones I love the most.
My last few visits to a church have also been the result of a death...... and that reality hit me hard; tears fell. I may not ever really go "back," but please don't lecture me on needing to go to "church", because that is not my intent in sharing this with you, but the reality many face and feel.......
It is very easily underestimated during divorces, deaths, or divisions. Either way there is a loss and the location at times is linked. It can end up being a place you never want to go back too.........These are my raw and unfiltered emotions of Fall 2014.....
Thankfully Jordan came for the weekend to attend a work event, as well as hang out in the household. I missed him until last night; however, his sense of humor helped us tremendously. His presence allowed me to leave a bit easier for a few days.
After breakfast together, clothes shopping, and a power business meeting, he returned to San Fran tonight. He has become even more competent and intelligent, strong and courageous. He really did have to "find himself" in the big city....... and I had to bless him to do it.
New plans for the blog, posts, pics, and overall layout ofwww.houseofsecretsblog.com are underway, and breathed new life into me again. Wonder how those "oxygen bars" really work;)
This week my new schedule starts........... as I prepare to "Come Home" by One Republic.
Goodnight and God bless.