Another suddenly has come.

At any given moment in time a suddenly event can change a life. Winning the lottery, losing a life, or living with difficulties each alter how we carry on. Character is tested during the challenges and character is what needs to be witnessed.......

For some, a suddenly is a rare occurrence, if you're able to keep life under control. From the disarray around the world and the distrust in our own country, I would say we are living in a new reality much like my own; one you're never ready for but must adapt too. 
Perhaps we need to get with the times and realize the seasons............

If I believe in my dreams, then loss should not be allowed to take them from me. The suddenly that sent me into a state of grief cannot keep me in a place of death. I want to allow my dreams to grow bigger.... and better than they were before. How to get to the goals is where character and challenges collide.

Some might say if I never went to SoCal, then I would not have quite this quest to reset and readjust in life. It was a cultural experience we were called too, and God only knows the greater reasons as to why. I know you will be hearing some of those reasons in the coming days.........

When the kids and I returned to LA after the holidays at home, it was as if something shifted. After landing on 12/28, Logan and I absolutely knew it was our time to exit two days later. Another suddenly had come upon us...
It was that fast.

Without time for any goodbyes for myself, we boarded a plane and were back in Philly a day and a half later. The season in life had shifted so quickly and I have learned to follow the flow, if at all possible. Most people are not able to do that, nor would they want to,.but I want to be blessed.....

The suddenlies have come for my 3 California kids and Jordan has also announced he will be leaving San Francisco in the coming weeks. Another 2 year period passed. His coming and going is blessed and we look forward to the beginnings of more great things as he follows his adventure forward.......

Sometimes we are too cautious and concerned about making moves that need to happen, or taking chances for fear something will happen. 
Truth is, we only live once on the earth so we might as well make the most of it..... in a meaningful way.

Nite.

Dreams do not die.

I had to remind myself today that after our loss, I kept saying "things will settle down." My life, schedule, and activity level picked up at a rapid pace and I honestly thought it was only a matter of time til there was calm. I was wrong because I compared my present to the past and it does not fit.

This new pace would prepare me for the future because there was no way I could move at the pace of the past in the present, but expect to be positioned for my future.......... I have learned a key lesson as it relates to the subject of loss........

Upon returning to Pennsylvania, where there is a misconception of having a "slow paced life", I have set new things in motion. Having been coast to coast, I now know for sure we have the kind of life we create. If you can dream it, you should dare to do it.

As I worked at painting my property and cleaning up for five hours today, and have done this many years prior, it felt like a brand new time and season in my life..... FREEDOM 2015. I will not be a slave to the work any longer, but will make it work for me. I have changed.

I returned home with far more ideas than I left with; my creativity has been multiplied in California, as a result of self reliance and making myself put my faith into action. Challenging yourself to do something new can be invigorating and inspiring, even if done through fear and trembling.......

After the steadfast encouragement from my kids and signs abounding around me, I am taking steps to pursue my real estate career. I thought that idea was dead and buried, but it seems it is being resurrected. I am finding other old ideas, creations, and plans are coming back to life. Perhaps our dreams did not die....... but were simply dormant until NOW.

The financial challenges always face me, particularly as I hear of retirement and vacation plans being formed. I am rebuilding. I am restarting. I am refreshed. I am a work of restoration.......

"He who began a good work in me WILL complete it......."

Pressure and Perspective.

About this time in January 9 years ago, I delivered a baby who had not survived in utero. In those moments, it was difficult to understand why I would be allowed to suffer so much; there were so many days I wondered why...... 
To think I could now be raising a nine year old son on my own puts a few things into better perspective.

As I drive through the mountains in southeastern PA, the silhouettes of trees and farms with the pink sky behind are quite peaceful. In LA, the mountains were off in the distance. Here, I am on top of a high place......
and want to remain there.

The first part of my plans for returning will begin tomorrow as I find my hideaway and get back to writing. Most of my focus in LA was consumed by troubles..... which taught me a lot. Now to make the most of what I learned.

My California kids also continue to learn life lessons as they make their way on their own, but with my support. Austin is working a regular, steady job, paying down student loans, and contributing to the household. My daughter is readying herself to test for her personal training certification:)

Whether right or wrong, our kids have taken out student loans to pay for college, and hope for scholarship help or aid. We could see a time coming when we'd be able to help more, but those times changed dramatically. There has to be a new way, if the former has passed away.........

This type of pressure weighs on me if I allow it, usually rooted in fears, even when based in my "reality." Truth is, I think the fears come when I live in reality for too long...... and stop believing in dreams.

Nerf battles are becoming an everyday event as Logan takes the lead initiating the games with his cousins.... and Uncle Mike:) Our house is perfect with all its levels and stairways. I bet Doug never imagined such warfare would be taking place in this house....... they have a blast:D

It's getting late and I have conference calls with the kids coming up. Logan's hoping for a two hour delay for Tuesday, his first day back 

Goodnight all.

Valuing innocence.

Over the course of many years, I have seen and heard many "dreams," some of which are held onto, even when the time of fulfillment has passed. Holding onto a purpose that has passed is like devaluing your destiny........

Tomorrow begins the Indoor VB Club season for Logan and his new team, MB Surf. Yes, there is no break; in SoCal the game continues year round, indoor and outdoor. I'm starting to see how this idea of constant competition between kids in Cali, and I do mean constant, can slowly wear away childhood innocence.......

Insanity is defined as "doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome." The importance of meaningful connections with quality people cannot be overstated and far outweighs the satisfaction of any kind of competition, college, image, or status, in my humble opinion.

Austin is recovering from a nasty stomach bug he's had since Tuesday night and missed a few days of school as a result. He's a typical almost 20 year old, searching for a purpose and plan for his life. For now, he is researching......

There is no shortage of surprises living just outside of L.A. When I picked up a few items at the local Walmart Thursday, I suddenly became surrounded by a number of Japanese tourists, taking pictures and notes as I was flying through the store, LOL:)

Redefining the dreams. Innocence over insanity.