Some days I think I want to give back my perceived "destiny" ...... to God, wondering if He's got the wrong person here. Times too trying, tasks so immense I can hardly fathom how to accomplish them. But then, I find a way to speak life to my own soul..............
I know how I felt when loss hit my heart...... knowing I was changed forever, and I would forever change the world for good. Those memories are burned within my being and imprinted upon the soul, the seat of my emotions.
This first week after leaving the real estate world in Cali, I am getting my own rental affairs in order. I've been running on fumes for several years, and now is the time to refuel. I need my ventures to run as a well oiled machine, for now and what is to come. You see, I have great ambitions....
I am filling the homes I have coming available and again the demand is great back in Pennsylvania. I have some pondering to do. I'm taking the early part of this week to put a plan into action.... and then I will WRITE. This will be my new "job" and I am treating it as such.
I will be heading back to the East Coast this week, for a weekend wedding:) Can't wait to see my family and perhaps friends if I can fit it all in! When you come to California most people think it's a place one will never want to leave........
In the past week, God has been speaking to me about joy, particularly relating to my little niece Ava Joy. The great lyricist David, in Psalms 51:12 says, "restore to me the JOY of your salvation and grant me a willing heart to sustain me." The word restore often implies the need to return that which has been lost.......
David is asking for help...... needing to return to a time of innocence and hope, salvation. He also needed help to remain where he is was meant to be, for as long as he needed to be there, and to find joy in it. I think his message is a universal one, as so many souls feel this condition..........
"There are things we can do, But from the things that work there are only two, And from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win, And fear will lose
There's faith and there's sleep, We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake, And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive, And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying, To let you know you need to try to think
I have these thoughts, So often I ought, To replace that slot
With what I once bought, 'Cause somebody stole
My car radio, And now I just sit in silence. " (Car Radio)
My soul cannot be silent. (KC)