Taking my time.

While i spent this Saturday night running my sweeper, I heard the sound of a table saw in the shop in our basement. It is a sound I have not heard echoed in several years, until my oldest son Jordan turned on the tools. He has so many skills........ and the sound was reassuring in some way.

We spent some time running around today, shopping for a bed finally, and of course, Home Depot unsure emoticon We have been able to share vehicles, thanks to my parents loaning us a car for now, but looking for a car for him is on our immediate list as well. Trusting the Lord for timing........

Sometimes it is easy to become impatient, particularly when there are pressures...... and promises. There is game playing and game changers that cause adjustments and adaptations I seem to need to make. It really kind of never stops. The last number of months have been like never before.....

Even and especially as a widow, I have had the most bizarre things occur, some almost too difficult to discuss, Perhaps in book form.in the future. I can see how very easy it is to get into unhealthy relationships after the soul has suffered. Truth is revealed over time, which we often feel we don't have. The irony.

I am very encouraged however, by close friends and women who open their heart to me. We are not alone. It is up to me to define my wants, what can wait, and what qualities are important to me. At my age, I have days when I do feel impatient which might sound silly, but it is truth.

Taking my time to trust. Nite.

"Not a word fell to the ground...."

After using earbuds for my iPhone that had wires fraying and padded ends that had fallen off on my last flight home, I decided it was time for a new pair. I had an iPhone upgrade in November which still hasn't happened, so I wait. Some silly things delayed are so small and simple.....

We often think of the many changes we want or need to make in life and become overwhelmed as to where to start. I have finally come to realize that taking a small step towards where I want to be is okay...... It is, after all, the many steps in the right direction that take me where I want to go....

Being on the west coast, in the midst of the "sunny California lifestyle" and all that it encompasses, has made many things much clearer to each of us. This was a journey of countless small steps that have led to life changing experiences we would not trade, in spite of the hardship and hurdles.

Prior to my recent flight back to LA, I had purchased the same style earbuds I had before. The sound quality was much better than my old pair and I realized what I was missing for so long..... I had learned to deal with it. I allowed myself to make adjustments to live with less than the best........

They worked fine for the last few days until I found myself frustrated with the same situation where the earbuds fell out. The sound was not clear in my ears; they did not fit me. Again, I struggled to "hear" like I wanted to. I wondered why I was dealing with this same issue again.

While out gift shopping today I found the pair I wanted; the kind that I could receive from without struggling to hear and not lose the "sound." The price was right and more importantly, they fit ME. I didn't have to feel bad for needing or wanting to what works for me.........

On another 4th of the month, I am finding myself even more..... through loss. As I find more of myself, more of my God, I have more to give to others. I needed to hear for myself, to understand why things happened the way they did. I have to come to grips in my understanding to guide my kids through........ and I am here to help you.......

While I certainly don't have all the answers, I continue to listen intently....