Relationships are often tested..... to see what they're made of and built upon. In the early days, there can be infatuation. Latter times bring real love.... if meant to be. Strength, purpose and endurance need to be tested to find out if it will survive. If it does, you're blessed:)

This often happens when making a move, changing a lifestyle, or improving oneself. If you find you've progressed beyond your past in pursuit of your purpose, it can be tricky to maneuver. No easy answers.... I simply have to know where I want my future to lie.....

I continue to discipline my mental game as mind games are played in several ways here. I remind myself I have to be above it and can't get pulled down into it all. If I go there, it's tough to get out. That, in itself, requires great discipline. Training the mind may be the toughest part.

It's looking like local beach papers are contacting us for interviews, similar to the article the Patriot ran a few months ago:) More details to follow. Learning all the time how to maneuver and navigate these waters...... and go with the flow.

And perhaps I'm going to be an Aunt again soon??!!!??? More news to come on that one too, lol:)

Logan spent time training with our HS beach coach and I rearranged my closet:D I baked a shoofly cake, one of our favorite reminders of PA and one I can actually replicate pretty well:)

Jordan continues to inspire me with his ambition, focus, and intelligence. He teaches me so much, from afar, and in many ways, is ahead of most. Looking forward to his visit the end of May!

My kids and I, my family and I, have had our relationship tested by fire, and that fire has tested the quality inside each of us. With absolute honesty and genuine hearts, we have loved each other through some of the worst things in life. We have fought for each other, and continue to.

I am so very grateful to hear the kids talk of the love of their childhood, the area and community we were part of, and the many relationships we've built over the years. My late husband and I gutted out some hardships and heartfelt moments. In the end..... it's all been worth it.....

"I Can't Stay"..... The Killers

Routines in life are often gravitated towards when life itself feels out of control, making loss feel a bit easier to bear. Finding something familiar to take solace in only provides temporary comfort.... and then a routine can become a rut you get stuck in. Before you know it, you can't get out.

Even though I have a well of strength to draw from, I have known for a while I have drawn strength from a young woman who has helped me become who I am. She is the perfect combination of everything good God can give to a mother............ she's my baby girl.... daddy's one and only. Chynna Sky.

For the sake of our family and her brothers, she decided to attend a great state university in our hometown in PA. Her ambitions led her to pursue a dual major in Business, in Management and Marketing, completing everything but one class. After summer classes at KU and the Dean's consent to leave town, she is finishing up her final marketing class at Cal State Long Beach..... a dream of hers.

From the time she started playing VB in 7th grade and up until age 16, she regularly spoke of her dream of moving to California.... one that seemed impossible. Before the accident that took her dad from us, I joked that I would move with her and help support her in whatever way I could, especially after she would have a family. Little did I realize the foresight spoken in a simple phrase......

She was the driving force that pushed me out of any routines or rituals I could have easily settled into.... and challenged me to pursue a fantastic future that potentially awaits me, in my second chance at life.

After much hard work and countless hours of studying and application, she is set to graduate from Kutztown University mid May:) While it would have been so easy for the lives of my kids to derail after the death, they remained on track, having been to hell and back.......

Today we received a letter from the Dean of the College of Business congratulating her for receiving the Outstanding Achievement in Marketing Award.. I cannot even begin to share what a validation this is.

Not only would her dad be so proud of his "honey girl", but I am amazed at who this beautiful, brown eyed girl is becoming.

Each one has grown up so fast and I face many things for the first time..... alone. But "I will not fear, for God is with me." He has brought me through some of the worst life can throw at a person... and we are making it. You can make it too. Don't give up...... ever.

Goodnight from SoCal.