Over the course of my life and in my younger days, I began to notice cycles and patterns beginning to surface after I married. There was unidentified pain I felt and I did not know why. I was told the first year of marriage can be challenging, so I chalked it up to that. However, issues and emotions I struggled with had roots that went deep down.....
These roots I found, would cause me to go in circles or cycles and I would inevitably get nowhere. No matter how I tried, I could not free myself from them. As I became more self aware, I realize each was just a symptom of a sometimes generational issue passed onto me......... These "roots" were keeping me grounded, holding me down.
Certainly not everything in my life has been the result of another's actions, reactions, or previous "sins"; however, I cannot discount the effects. For instance, did you ever wonder why you behave the way you do, react or respond to something completely irrational, and no matter how many resolutions are made, they seem to be to little or no avail? If so, I can relate.
At times, I felt like the nation of Israel mentioned in the Bible, mostly because they literally went around the same mountain on their quest to a better life. With the leadership of Moses, these people were no longer enslaved to man's system, but they continued to be bound by their mindsets. On their journey through the wilderness, they were delayed, distracted, and taken slightly off course. Many did not even make it to this "rest" ........ and I definitely do not want that to be me or you.
Unless I live with self awareness and walk in the truth, I will be able to be deceived; deterred. The task will be daunting; my Promised Land, an elusive idea. Everything in my life is meant to keep my eyes and focus on what is right in front of me, hence, all my effort goes into these cyclical patterns and trying to find a way to break them. #loser
However, if I set my sights on the distance and what is beyond me, "the Promised Land", I am engaged with an eternal destiny. This type of mindset lifts my vision from being a victim to victor! There is training involved and a hunger for the truth required, but with this type of equipping, the mountains in your life will diminish and you will overcome.
I am on a "quest for rest." Hebrews 4