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I find one can look into the life of another, make assessments of how things should be handled, what could be done, when in reality, no one person can really know until placed in a position. It is so easy to take a microscope to examine the life of another.....

Quite honestly, I have found over many, many years to look at my own life first, before even trying to "fix" someone else. That is where it begins. Never in my younger years, could I imagine I would face the kind of things I have.

But I could so quickly judge another, thinking that "would never happen to me." In those younger years and my religious, self righteous thinking, I did not realize what I was doing. Little did I know, the deconstruction of the doctrines that would take place in my heart, mind, and soul that would prepare me to grasp this day.

Whether it be because I still remain single, am kind-hearted, or simply have dreams that I believe I will fulfill, the enemy of my soul has gone on the attack. The last few years have been hell.... but I am still here.......

No matter what you are facing or feel you are under....... 
NEVER. GIVE. UP.

Until I was threatened with the deep rooted fears I did not want to face, I was not able to see what I needed to see. Or feel more fully the grip around my neck, trying to control me. You see, I am growing more determined, stronger, and leaving fear behind......

This is a time of unprecedented favor, yet uncertainty; things out of my hands. Relationships I cannot fix. A time to truly let go....... and see what God can do.

Tonight, I cooked dinner for myself. Just me. 
I am finally putting myself first.