No matter how much growth I make on my journey through loss and restoration, I still go through times of testing. Darn. The last month has been like that. What I think I have processed and laid to rest, seems to get resurrected by triggers that taunt in unhealthy, emotional ways.........
Some people eat or spend their issues away; some drink and others exercise. Some starve themselves and even more decide to escape those times; others just complain! I have taken somewhat of an "emotional beating" in the last two months, as I move on into love and extended relationships. I really wonder why.
I trust I will become even more resilient..........
I am getting reacquainted with what love looks like and feels like; it's feels as if I've been lost for so long I can barely recognize a real relationship. I often feel like something is wrong with me. Perhaps those who have been through it can understand my language.....
As we near the one year mark of our return home, we continue to see how "geographic alignment" has us in the right place, at the right time. Thank God for that. So much is happening and I continue to make inroads for myself and the kids to get where we need to be.
Chynna has been blessed with an open door to attend volleyball coaching clinics at the USA Olympic Training Center in CO Springs. Having her technique and style affirmed by the experts has been awesome. This could not have come at a better time, since she will be getting even more involved in the sport locally.
Logan will be rated for a second time as a ref tomorrow, and planning to make some money this spring doing that. His college papers are coming soon, so it will feel official. Can't believe we're moving into the home stretch in so many ways.
I am really being challenged to stay positive because I am being tested by so much negativity in a few current situations. I am amazed by how miserable people can be and then make it personal unsure emoticon If only they could see that you get what you put out.
My will certainly has been tested..... so God help me, AGAIN. I know I am put in geographical positions for a reason........ and that's what keeps me where I am at. The relationships and connections I am building means so much. Perception is everything.
I am hoping for a big shift out of uncertainty..........