Another Friday night passes and I'm doing what I often do - packing. This time it is not for a volleyball tournament the next day, but rather a flight home:) It feels a little bit like I am currently caught between two seasons in life and need the proper "preparation" for each place.........

The quest for independence has been an uphill battle. When one is used to living under the care or concern of another, whether a parent's watchful eye or partner in life, it is a very big adjustment to gain the gravity to hold your on. I was always taken care of, not in a life of "luxury" but with loyalty......

I now ponder the proper way to provide care for my growing kids, who want independence but are not able to be independent. When conflicts arise amongst us, I feel the same internal stress that hassled me in my marriage. I just want to be free.

Chynna and Austin will be roommates while we are away and until he flies home for the holiday, lol. I would rather spend the days with all my kids but I can't make it all work. She and Jordan will do volunteer work and hang here for a long weekend. Holidays here are not as special as we are accustomed to back East. To say Logan is excited is an understatement:)

Austin was serious about job applications this week and through online apps and in person, he made a lot of contacts. His future remains very fluid and we will see what opens up. He needs to get back home and out of this aimlessness.........

"Our survival instinct can prove to be our greatest source of inspiration."