Mysterious May.

Even though I am not a great gardener, I have a love for plants. Greens. Flowers. Colors. Variety. Living in L.A. county was tough on me, having no space or freedom to "plant." Austin noticed the beauty of the colors all around us today, which stands out more brightly than ever before......

While I unloaded a small box with a few flower plants, it almost tipped over and I thought about the potential for a mess. As much as I hate messes, it often takes one to force me to change..... to make a decision...... to bring about a determination to do something different.

God knows I've cleaned up enough "messes" in my life over the course of many years, some worse than others. I guess that gives me a good amount of experience in dealing with life...... and giving to others what is needed. This ability comes from going through stuff....... and coming out on the other side.

This mentality has made me push beyond any limits and know most anything can be conquered. The flip side is that I don't often know my limits anymore without my late husband's limitless presence. Perhaps I picked up something he carried...... and am running with it........

The tenacity required in my life is pretty ridiculous. After phone calls, orders placed, and answers given, a few household things are getting taken care of. I still need to call about my new ice maker not working right, but thankfully it is under warranty.

I have learned not to feel stupid if I need to ask a few questions for clarity or to understand what I'm hearing in the business world. I used to simply ask a man when I needed help; now I am relying more on myself again. More growing pains.........

Tonight I signed a lease for my last available rental and plan to put a rest to the "unrest" I have experienced. And tomorrow I will be doing an Open House from 1-3 in Topton during our Community Days event, so come out and see me! I am all about our local community because I know how special it is...........

The month of May has been pretty mysterious so far and we're 15 days in. In this week alone we've seen medics next door, dealing with a heroin overdose, along with the many issues arising in the school. I am not losing hope.............. but remain hope filled.

And I am willing to share.

The Call.

Communicating emotions and ripples loss reaches and how it touches a life is challenging. Confusion wants to rest where clarity waits to reveal its purpose.

After death, I knew immediately my call as a woman, a young widow, was now to listen for the sound I heard from the heavens that night. The gift that sounds like sorrows....is also a place where magic is released in those moments.

My ear has been trained to hear.......

In the days following his death, it became clear that a call to our community was on the rise. The day of "burial" would create a life of new beginnings.... It is the time and season to make those declarations.

"I can see the time drippin' down the clock,, We've been trying to hear that ancient refrain
It's the one that knows just when our heads are down, And reminds us of the place from where we came

"Daddy daddy daddy, all my life, I've been trying to find my place in this world"
"I got all night to listen to the heart of a girl"

What happened here, what is this world? It's too far from the heart of a girl
A ripple in the water, From the drop of a pearl, I'm on the shore waitin'
For the heart of a girl

Deep in the night, I feel the presence, Of something that was long ago told to me,
There is a hand, guiding the river, The river to wide open sea
And deep in my heart, in any game,, On any mountain, no I'm not afraid

Standing on stone, you stand beside me, And honour the plans that were made"' The Killers...

The Heart of A Girl.