Alterations.

So much has transpired here in less than a week's time, which has become my "norm"; I somehow have an altered sense of time since my "change of life" 2 1/2 years ago. My awareness is heightened, as to life alterations and lost relationships; I don't think I like it.

I sometimes feel my whole sense of time isn't calculated by earthly measurements anymore, but is counted with eternal applications. Kind of like being in fast forward. I don't want to miss out on anything; I'm notalways patient. I assume others want the same, but they may not see what I see.....

It seems in general, the Cali culture places emphasis on "enjoying life" and all things associated with that lifestyle. Generally speaking, many of the stereotypes ring true. Paying a fortune for real estate that is not worth the value placed on it is fascinating. The aspect of "work" is completely different than back East, in our experience.

Having finished his first year at Redondo Union, we're so glad Logan worked hard and finished strong:) Much of his time is accounted for this summer, but he needs to find a job. Probably not landscaping or mowing lawns like back home because those jobs would not go to him......

We have been working furiously, packing and moving, since finding a 2 BR, 2 Bath apartment in Redondo Beach. The favor of the Lord was upon us, as everything came together at a perfect time, location, and owners. This place is a 4 unit, family owned building that we think already feels more like home than our current apt. Now, with God's grace, I deal with my manager in the moving process..... 

I signed a lease for another year on Weds.night and we carried our first load in:) Tomorrow movers come to the few bigger items over. Everything is boxed and ready. This place is closer to the beach for biking, and Logan's school. A local dog park and nursery is nearby. God is good. Thank you for prayers. We couldn't be more ready for another fresh start.

Tonight I spent time in Palos Verdes, at my favorite protected space, where I go to sit in the quiet and listen to what the Lord says to my heart. I have set aside the summer for some personal goals, guidance, and growth. Tis my season.....

Even if the separation from your loved one was expected or totally unplanned, you are left to find out who you are without the light of their love in your life......

"For those living in the land of the shadow of death (darkness)..... a light has dawned."

Walls.

When relationships end, whether in life or loss, it leaves behind a void.... an emptiness that seems impossible to fill. My human emotion is to keep busy, as to not feel anything further, or focus on what I'm missing. Eventually, you can only run so far.... and so fast.....

In spite of filling our lives with anything and everything available these days, that emptiness will always be there until you find satisfaction. For each of us, what fulfills is unique to your own life. God spoke to the prophet Ezekiel about His search for someone who would "build up the wall and stand in the gap on behalf of the 'land'", but HIs efforts were unsuccessful.

We build walls everyday based on words spoken that bring life to our soul, or crush our spirit; those walls stay erected, creating a way for emptiness to rest.... hurt and pain will grow, unless someone bridges that gap. I hope I can be that someone, in some way. Through experiences I share, I trust you will feel a little less empty.......

I learned a long time ago that what I walked through in this life was all about me. We get caught up in what others are doing or involved in, and forget ourselves. Selfishness is rampant; however, there is a way to focus on self and not become self-centered. I am finally gaining a healthy viewpoint........ vanity v. purity. Only one will win out.