"While living in L.A., where there is sunshine everyday, I began to realize I missed the seasonal changes that are noticeable on the East Coast. For most days, the climate did not change while residing in the west; the days were beautiful and warm. I never did tire of the sun....... but I longed for the seasons. Every day was the same.
Read moreThe Deconstruction of Trust
"I recently heard that "trust is the opposite of division" and I believe if we are honest, we can say we have seen a catastrophic breakdown in trust on many levels. The most glaringly has been in governmental levels in recent years and history, whether that be political, educational, religious, or secular in nature.
Read morePressure and Perspective.
About this time in January 9 years ago, I delivered a baby who had not survived in utero. In those moments, it was difficult to understand why I would be allowed to suffer so much; there were so many days I wondered why......
To think I could now be raising a nine year old son on my own puts a few things into better perspective.
As I drive through the mountains in southeastern PA, the silhouettes of trees and farms with the pink sky behind are quite peaceful. In LA, the mountains were off in the distance. Here, I am on top of a high place......
and want to remain there.
The first part of my plans for returning will begin tomorrow as I find my hideaway and get back to writing. Most of my focus in LA was consumed by troubles..... which taught me a lot. Now to make the most of what I learned.
My California kids also continue to learn life lessons as they make their way on their own, but with my support. Austin is working a regular, steady job, paying down student loans, and contributing to the household. My daughter is readying herself to test for her personal training certification:)
Whether right or wrong, our kids have taken out student loans to pay for college, and hope for scholarship help or aid. We could see a time coming when we'd be able to help more, but those times changed dramatically. There has to be a new way, if the former has passed away.........
This type of pressure weighs on me if I allow it, usually rooted in fears, even when based in my "reality." Truth is, I think the fears come when I live in reality for too long...... and stop believing in dreams.
Nerf battles are becoming an everyday event as Logan takes the lead initiating the games with his cousins.... and Uncle Mike:) Our house is perfect with all its levels and stairways. I bet Doug never imagined such warfare would be taking place in this house....... they have a blast:D
It's getting late and I have conference calls with the kids coming up. Logan's hoping for a two hour delay for Tuesday, his first day back
Goodnight all.
Beyond beliefs.
I am thrilled beyond belief to know how many "friends" I have tonight.... and sincerely thank each of you for showing me so much love:) I have known all kinds of love in my life, and yet there is so much more to learn, feel, and live out.
A snowstorm on this day 3 years ago in Pennsylvania, knocked out power and took down trees all over our area. Labeled as a freak storm, this was a disruption at best. For me, it was the ultimate interruption in my portion of the world.......... and a day I will never forget.......
During the heart wrenching days of posting my trips to welfare and the social security office, credit card declines, bills to pay, a service to plan, a rental home to finish, and the list goes,..... did I begin to see a new course being laid out just for me, right before my very eyes. Pain would lead to purpose, as long as I could trust my perception.
I never had any interest in writing as a young person, strongly disliked a diary or journaling and felt that communicating was kind of a waste of time. But now, here I am............ and have kind of stumbled into it..... or perhaps there was a time to write.
As I turn 46, I am a mere semblance of my former self and in my experiences, I now can confidently tell you who I am. This list happens to include a single woman, widow, and mother............. .
In the times and seasons that have followed, I ask God for mercy, knowing His unfailing love and great compassion are two traits I wanted most, and hoped to share freely........ This community has become my new "home."
Welcome to my Life. Share in my Love. You are Home.
10/29/2014