Suffering in silence.

When my kids were younger it was easier to take care of things for them. I was often exhausted but there seemed less to be concerned about. Life was simpler then, which I would not have believed at the time. We always had so much going on like most families, but fit in the most important stuff.

As they've had to grow up and become responsible more quickly than most, I know so much has been asked of each of them. That's not always the easiest thing for a mother to accept. From the outside, it may seem pretty simple: just work hard. On the inside, it is another story.

I would rather not have them be concerned with the things that concern me, but we are forced into team mode. It is an adjustment on many levels to live life when your dad is not around and do things for yourself, because you have too. There are plays, skills, and training required.

Learning to be part of a team is also an adjustment because it is much easier to be responsible solely for yourself and your own things. Independence is sought after, but this season in life does not lend itself to anything other than depending on each other........... that does get old......

After cleaning my rental and meeting the prospective new tenant, I headed home to begin my own housework this Saturday. Thankfully we had a team effort today, as schedules coordinated and we knocked out another load of stuff to complete as we get the house in order.
And thanks to my neighbor Bill for helping us mow again, saying he doesn't want to "see me suffer", LOL. All he asks for is our friendship........

Jordan was a weedwacking machine and took on my place and Bill's, while Austin works double shifts many days. He seems to have found his "destiny", with sales work calling his name smile emoticon Anyone who knows Austin's personality can see how this could be true grin emoticon

As I receive feedback from my "FB friends" for my posts, I feel as if I am a voice for the multitudes who do desire to be free but are not sure how to find it. I know that I have found a form of it and I'm not going to lose it; L.A. reinforced that for me................

Wishing forms of freedom and happiness to all my female friends this weekend.

Desperation meets destiny.

As I traveled alone to Conestoga Valley HS for a tournament, I had time to think about the whirlwind 3 months I have had because I was finally still. Everything has changed.

Doing the right thing means a very hard thing may be asked of me or you. The rewards are a reality not necessarily seen immediately. Over time however, fruit is produced if I allow myself to be "pruned......." Anything good has got to go, to get the better.

I think in some weird way, it helps keeps me young. While I watched Logan and his high school team from Berks County, Pennsylvania, our decision to transition to SoCal was affirmed. He was on fire...... and I saw the fruit of our two year transition......... and congrats on the win guys!

A trophy will be placed in the high school and I will remember the many moments. The hard work. The sacrifices. The cardboard furniture. The flights and the long drives. Each of us has moments in life when our mental game needs to rise to the level of faith we are being called to.......

The 3 kids worked together today to finish installing flooring in my rental. Austin came through big, remembering how to lay it from years past with his dad. Jordan watched in awe, lol. It was impressive:)

Chynna's been spackling and together we changed a plumbing valve Friday. As Logan reiterates, "this has been my life since January", which is no exaggeration. Never did I think I could do this stuff, but never underestimate what you are capable of when desperation meets destiny.

I'm planning to write a new chapter in my life come April............ and look into publishing my first book.

Discipline your focus.

Determination and Drive.

For the past 3 weeks we have been home, there has been at least one school delay weekly. Getting the 5:30 a.m. call is not on my favorite things list; however, Logan's response of "YESSSS!" actually kind of makes it worth it:) He is already pushing me to call for his driver's exam:/

In this first month of the year, even with all the changes, I've jumped right back into living life. I used to think perhaps the 18 month period from May of 2009 to November of 2011, when we literally purchased and renovated 6 homes, was unlike any other time in our lives. Turns out, that was an understatement. We could only do it, because God was in it all.

To the natural eye, we probably looked like we were a bit nuts. Running a remodeling business full time, raising and running around with 4 kids, to maintaining a marriage and household pretty effectively, was not a disadvantage. We were not to feel defeated but elected and determined for our destiny..............

The word alone conjures up all kinds of magical images, fairytale endings, and hopeful happenings. This is all sounds idealistic; "destined for great things...." but it is honestly defined by determination, grit, and "guts over fear." Destiny is built on decisions........

Tomorrow I am making a trip to Quality Roofing to pick up 3 replacement windows for the same said rental home we are working at. I think that's a first for me, and I'm counting on help loading them:) Today I test drove a used vehicle my daughter will be driving when she returns from L.A.

I did the almost unthinkable and left my Ford Escape in Cali with Chynna, while Austin has the Toyota Corolla. I felt I would worry less knowing they were taken care of in this regard. Needless to say, I really like my car:/ I am somehow the one to make the most sacrifices, ha ha. How. Why.

Thanks to my parents for a loaner and always helping out as needed to work through this transition. And my partner John continues to embrace my adventurous side and the ideas I am passionate about. So much more is just around the corner........

Acceleration. Adventures. Options.